Play That Funky Music, White Girl

You hear the Fitness Gods and Goddesses say it time and time again. If you don’t like exercise, you won’t do it. Ain’t that the truth. I used to force myself to do it every day. And there is no way in hell I would have gotten up at 4:30 a.m. back then to suffer through five days a week, 40 minutes a day of sheer, repetitive, boring torture. I would have rather stuck forks in my eyes. I did it when I got home from work – grudgingly and exceedingly resentful of how it cut into my personal time with my partner and our daughter. If I hadn’t been so determined to get into really good shape for Katie’s sake, I would have said, “Fuck this” about two weeks into it and gone back to Curves.

But in early November, I found a workout that’s so much fun, with such hot dance music, that I still love every single thing about it three months later. You may have seen the infomercials – the name of the program is Turbo Jam. Kids, this program rocks the house. It combines strength training and cardio with such powerful, soul-rocking dance music, your body moves whether you want it to move or not. I do two Turbo Jam workouts every day, back to back, six days a week, for a total of 60-65 minutes a day. The music is completely motivating and the best I’ve ever heard in any exercise program. When I’m working out, I am so pumped and I hit those beats so hard, every muscle in my body works to the max. At 4:30 in the morning! And those 60 minutes just fly by. I am a red-faced, sweaty, dripping mess by the time I am done – and I feel so damned good, I almost wish I could start over again.

Part of what makes it so fun is Chalene Johnson, the program creator and the instructor on the tapes. She is an absolute hoot, a total goof and a 5’2” ball of fire. She’s not one of those “woo-woo” instructors either – you know, the ones you see on TV who do little but jump up and down in their cute, color-coordinated outfits and yell, “Woo! Woo!” every ten seconds, until you are ready to bitch-slap them into unconsciousness. Motivating, my ass – the only motivation I get is a compelling urge to find some duct tape. But Chalene is so different and she has a reputation for genuinely caring about the people who use her program.

There are several workouts in the Turbo Jam program. When you buy the basic package, you get:

Learn and Burn – teaches you the 11 program positions and has a 15-minutes starter workout.
Turbo Sculpt – a 40-minute strength training program.
20-Minute Workout – a quick workout for “short on time” days
AB Jam – a 20-minute ab routine
Cardio Party – a 45-minute cardio workout

I also have two other DVDs I have from the upgrade package I purchased separately: Cardio Party Mix 2 (which is killer and hands-down my favorite), and Lower Body Jam, which is a 30-minute strength training workout just for your lower body. The first time I did Lower Body Jam, I thought my glutes and hamstrings were going to split in half, it was that intense. But very, very effective – the whole program is. I have definition in my biceps and glutes and even my abs that I have never had before.

I’ve managed to get my hands on two other DVDs that actually haven’t been released yet and am waiting for them to be delivered any day now ***evil grin***. One is called Booty Sculpt + Abs and the other is Cardio Party Remix. And I cannot wait to try them out.

The recommended program is five days; however, I do six days of double workouts. My schedule lately looks something like this:

Monday-Wednesday-Friday: Either Turbo Sculpt OR Lower Body Jam + 20-Minute Workout
Tuesday-Thursday-Saturday: Either Cardio Party OR Cardio Party Mix 2 + Ab Jam
Sunday: Rest and eat chocolate :)

Once I get the other two, I’ll work them into the mix somehow. It’s effective if you mix up your routine every 4-6 weeks, anyway, so your body doesn’t get used to a set pattern. For example, I had been doing Cardio Party exclusively for about 2-1/2 months and was getting great results; however, when I started incorporating Cardio Party Mix 2, I really felt my muscles respond to the change in routine.

I really love this program and encourage you to check it out, especially if you’re like me and generally dislike exercising. For the record, I am not affiliated with Beachbody in any way – as a matter of fact, I had such a run-in with their Customer Service department last summer, they probably have voodoo dolls with my name on them that they stick pins in every 30 minutes or so. That doesn’t prevent me from recommending a great product, however – Chalene has put together an amazing and very effective workout program, and it’s not her fault the people in Beachbody’s Customer Service department suffer from occasional brain seizures.

Check them out – I don't think you'll be sorry.