It's Only Tuesday and I'm Exhausted

Welcome to hell week. Things have been crazy around work and I couldn’t find a minute to post yesterday. Posting on weekends is a slim to none chance anyway, but I can usually find a couple of minutes through the week – not yesterday! I was wrung out by the time I got home. Of course, Katie decided it was a good night to stay up late and cry unless Mommy was the one holding her. I think kids have this built-in radar that says, “Ooooh, Mommy’s exhausted. Let’s see if we can make her go insane and nudge her right over the cliff unless she lets me cling to her like a giant mollusk.” God bless them … LOL.

Tomorrow is my weigh and measure day. I do it the first of every month – check scale weight and body fat %, then take my chest, waist, hips, upper arm and thigh measurements. I think I did okay this month and I’ll be happy with the results. I didn’t mess up very much at all on my eating plan (unless we count the experiment from hell) and didn’t skip any workouts. I think I deserve at least an “A” for effort :)

I’ll post results tomorrow and hopefully I’ll be able to talk about some of the stuff I read on Tom’s web site over the weekend. I started going through some of his back archives and catching up on stuff. As a former member of Curves, I was stunned to find out one of their 30-minute workouts only burns approximately 184 calories. If you follow their recommended only three times a week exercise schedule, that’s only 552 calories burned through exercise in a week. Do you realize that’s only about two slices of pizza? Good God, no wonder I wasn’t getting anywhere. However, he did have some positive things to say about their program that I’ll share with you tomorrow.

Back to the grindstone …

Burn the Fat, Feed the Muscle

So, I think I’ve previously mentioned Tom Venuto in my blog. Tom is a personal trainer and lifetime natural bodybuilder who is the author of an e-book called “Burn the Fat, Feed the Muscle.” Back when I was first starting this fitness journey and had no clue what I was doing or where I could start learning about proper nutrition and exercise, I found Tom while searching on the Internet. There is so much hype and fraud on the web these days, it’s important to be careful when purchasing products or listening to any advice, so I spent some time checking Tom out. I was satisfied with what I found out about him, so I decided to purchase his book (which is only available online and not in bound form, incidentally). I am here to tell you it was the best $39 I ever spent. It’s over 300 pages of information on how to get lean, ripped, and in the best shape of your life in a healthy, safe, and effective manner. By page 20, I’d already felt like I had gotten my money’s worth.

The only criticism I’ve seen of his e-book are two things: one, if you are already well-schooled in the world of fitness and bodybuilding, the information will probably be nothing new to you; and, two, there is so much information, it’s almost overwhelming – although it is easily and clearly explained in a way anyone can understand, novice or expert. I think anyone who is determined to get into good shape should buy it. I’m personally on my third reading and I have incorporated many of his principles into my fitness plan. I am thankful my previous (and horribly incorrect) understanding about health and “dieting” was banished forever by the information here. One thing, though: if you are expecting hearts and flowers here, or a gentle little trip through fitness nirvana, forget it. Tom gives it to you straight up, without pulling any punches, and has little tolerance for excuses, laziness or apathy. Exactly like a really good personal trainer should do, I guess :)

Again, my disclaimer. I am not affiliated with Tom Venuto in any way – the man doesn’t even know I exist. But I want to pass his name along and encourage you to check out his web site. He has a lot of articles and stuff there that I have finally gotten around to start reading. The man is a fountain of information and freely steers you towards more good resources on the web. If you are serious about your health and your fitness, he is one resource you shouldn’t do without.

The Next Time I Do Something Like This, Shoot Me

I ended up leaving work early yesterday to see my doctor – the dizzy spells just weren’t getting better and I was starting to get a little bit concerned. Dr. R was out of town, but his nurse basically confirmed what my friend told me yesterday – I simply can’t work out the way I do and not consume an adequate amount of carbohydrates. My body was racing to burn anything it could find for fuel and it was messing me up. I am just about back to normal this morning, I think – between last night and this morning, I have had a couple of really light episodes, but nothing like they were. So, THAT is it for THAT, ladies and gentlemen. No more experiments for me (uh huh, and I have some swamp land in Florida I can sell you, too).

I did the Pyramid Upper Body workout this morning. Wow, it was awesome, but do I feel it. I totally maxed out on some of the exercises, and there were even a couple where I failed on the very last rep. I made sure I stretched fully and very carefully both between sets and at the end, but I’m already sore. Tomorrow is going to be interesting, especially if Katie wants me to swing her up in the air – my arms just might fall out of their sockets … LOL. It took me about 50 minutes to do the whole workout, including warm-up and stretching at the end, so I didn’t have any time for the usual 20 minutes of cardio after weights. But I’m going to do it when I get home, although I do prefer to do it in the mornings so I can get my endorphin fix for the day :)

More in a few.

Well, So Much For Thinking This Was a Good Idea

The great South Beach experiment is officially over.

I was sitting at my desk yesterday afternoon when I felt this huge wave of dizziness. Then another one. And then another one. Turns out Phase 1 of the South Beach diet is the same as the low-carb diets in that it can cause fatigue, lightheadedness, heart palpitations, dizziness, etc., especially in people who exercise frequently or rigorously. Oh. That would be me, wouldn't it? Thank goodness I still had some fruit cups stashed in my desk drawer (the kind packed in water). I ate one and started feeling better within 30 minutes. When I got home, I fixed a baked potato to go with my steak and broccoli instead of a salad. I felt terrific this morning when I woke up and I tore through my 60-minute workout with tons of energy, then had my usual oatmeal and protein shake afterwards. Okay, I'm starting to see the picture here.

I talked to a friend of mine, who is a serious gym rat, and told her what happened. First, she called me a very unladylike version of a nitwit. Ouch. She said I was experiencing premature muscle fatigue during my workouts and slow muscle recovery, plus getting fatigued and dizzy because I probably went into ketosis and my body couldn't handle it. And then she told me to go back to what I had been doing and stop being a *insert very unladylike version of a nitwit*. I did a bit of reading last night and this morning, and found a lot of reports about the initial "induction" phase of any diet that severely restricts carbohydrates, and the possible consequences for those who rigorously exercise.

One author in particular made an interesting point. She said if you read the guidelines carefully for low-carb diet programs, you notice the authors either gloss over the subject of exercise or advocate only "moderate" exercise at best. And there's a reason for that - because carbs are what provide energy and there is simply not enough of them in a typical low-carb program to sustain any type of aerobic activity - and it can even be dangerous at times. Frankly, I'm sold. I've felt like hell over the past three days and this isn't something I'd care to repeat anytime soon. I'm not trying to say low-carb dieting is evil either. I do know people who thrive on low-carb diets and are a mess when they eat too many carbs, especially simple carbs. Evidently, however, I'm not one of them - and, I suspect, neither are too many people who have a regular and vigorous workout routine.

So, my conclusions. Don't do a severe induction phase on a diet like South Beach if you are exercising regularly. Try to ignore the "instant gratification" lure of losing 10 or 15 pounds in two weeks. Be patient and be happy with losing those pounds slowly and more healthfully by a sensible reduction of carbohydrates and by focusing on eating only good carbs. And, for God's sake - make sure you consult with your doctor before you follow any nutritional or exercise information or advice, and stop immediately if you have any adverse reactions or just "don't feel right."

So, it's back to my old routine for now. I'm happy with how I've been doing, so it's no big setback. I'm going to tweak my nutrition plan a little bit so I'm following the guidelines for a more pure "Mediterranean diet pyramid," but that's about it. If it ain't broke, don't fix it :)

I Just Might Survive

Well, today was better. Of course, it was strength training day - lower body for 30 minutes - and I only did 20 minutes of cardio afterwards, but I didn't feel like I was going to keel over and die. I also don't feel as tired this a.m., so maybe this will end up working out for the next two weeks. But tomorrow will be the real test - very intense cardio for 45 minutes - so let's see if I bonk out or if my system has adjusted. As far as diet, I'm glad Phase 1 is only two weeks - I think I would go insane if I had to eat this way forever. By the time my two weeks are up, I'll be ready to trade Strutt in for a bowl of oatmeal :) I peeked at the scale this a.m. - I couldn't help it, even though I had planned to wait until tomorrow and do a mid-week check. It's down, rather dramatically actually, but I need to measure my body fat % to make sure I'm losing the right stuff.

We're going to try a new upper body strength training routine on Friday, something neither of us has done before. It's called "Pyramid Upper Body." Basically, it's five sets per muscle group: the first set is 12 reps with light weights, the second is 10 reps with medium weights, the third is 8 reps with heavy weights, then the fourth set is back down to 10 reps with medium weights, and the fifth set is down again to where you started at 12 reps with light weights. The whole premise is to "pyramid up" from light to heavy weights, then "pyramid" back down to the light weights. I think there are five muscle groups in the workout for about a total 45-minute workout. I can't wait to try it, although if I can't lift my arms on Saturday, you'll know why :)

Choppy Waters

So far, this experiment is not turning out to be a success.

Yesterday, I ended the day at 1,711 calories, 48% fat, 10% carbs and 42% protein … that’s about 140 calories short of where I need to be. I added something into Fit Day twice by mistake and recorded the wrong serving amount for something else, so when I corrected my mistakes, my calories and protein % dropped and my fat % went up. I am so not happy.

That’s not the worst part. I understood going in that I might feel a little crappy during the first few days while my system adjusted to the carb restriction. What I did not expect was to bonk out halfway through my cardio this morning. I literally ran out of steam 30 minutes in and I always have enough energy for my workouts, even though I do fasted cardio and weights (more on that in a minute). By the grace of the Goddess, I finished the entire 60 minutes, both cardio and abs, but I had to drop my intensity and I felt like I was moving my arms and legs through quicksand with no muscle strength. It was a horrible sensation and I was a completely unhappy camper at the end of it all.

I’ve also been extremely sleepy all morning – driving to work was an exercise in not falling asleep at the red lights. Now, granted, Miss Katie was in one of her I-refuse-to-go-to-sleep-because-I-might-miss-something moods last night and I only got about six hours of sleep instead of eight, but it’s not like that doesn’t already happen on an occasional basis. And when it does, of course I’m more tired the next day, but never to the point of falling asleep while I’m driving or trying not to nod off while in a meeting. I have absolutely no oomph whatsoever and I hate the feeling – this unpleasantly reminds me of how I felt after Katie was born.

I don’t want to abandon the experiment only one day in, but I am giving this until Thursday evening. If I’m still having half-assed, piddly workouts and feeling like I’m going to keel over from exhaustion by then, I’m stopping and resuming my old nutrition plan. This is for the birds – even though I do have to admit, my appetite seems to have decreased. Although I don’t know if I should regard that as a bonus or not.

About doing fasted cardio or strength training – listen to half a dozen bodybuilders, aerobics instructors, fitness models, and gym rats and you’ll get half a dozen different opinions on if working out on a empty stomach is a help, a hazard, or just a preference. Personally, I think it’s an individual preference. I do much better when I work out first thing in the morning on an empty stomach – putting anything at all in my system practically guarantees I’m going to feel like vomiting at some point during my workout. Strutt, however, is the complete opposite – at the very least, s/he needs to drink a meal replacement shake before s/he works out or s/he gets sick. It’s really a question of doing what works the best for you and allows you to have the most effective workout.

Let’s keep our fingers crossed.

And, We're Off ...

Well, today is the start of the Great South Beach experiment. I went to the grocery store yesterday morning and stocked up on all kinds of SB-friendly stuff. Spent a couple of hours yesterday afternoon making hummus and pistachio-chicken salad and things like that to take to work this week for lunch. I woke up this morning expecting to feel a little anxious, but I actually felt kind of indifferent to the whole idea of food. Of course, that could also be because of the totally nasty fish and chips I let myself have as a final cheat meal yesterday (since I won’t be allowed to have a cheat day again any time soon). Blech.

That feeling of indifference changed once I recorded my planned food for the day into Fit Day this morning, however. Now, I’m anxious. When all was said and done, my total caloric intake would have been about 1,550 calories – wayyyyyyy too low for healthy weight loss, in my opinion. Also, I understand Phase 1 of South Beach is severely carb-restricted and the carb/protein/fat ratio in this phase is about 85% protein/fat and 15% carbs. But 52% fat? Are you fucking kidding me??? And – here’s the kicker – I’m using all low-fat and fat-free products with the exception of 2 tablespoons of mayonnaise and 1 teaspoon of olive oil! Granted, the saturated fat level is at about 8%, which is good, but still. It’s not like I have a huge variety of different foods to choose from to make this a little more reasonable either. Needless to say, I have tweaked and added and rearranged my food plan until I got my total calories up to 1,760 and the fat percentage down to 45%. That’s still outrageous – the protein is at 44%, the carbs are at 11%, and I’m still about 90 – 140 calories short of my minimum daily calorie intake. I’m going to have to keep playing with it today.

At this point, I have a feeling I’m going to do my two weeks of Phase 1 and switch back to more Mediterranean diet-style eating. I know you aren’t supposed to count your calories or anything like that on South Beach – “just eat when you’re hungry” – but geez, Louise, what if I hadn’t? I’d be eating far too little and probably putting my LBM at risk. I guess we’ll just play it by ear and take this one day at a time, but you can bet your hardening arteries I’m going to be monitoring my food intake like a hawk.

The household is still recovering from their colds, but we are all in much better shape. The monkey hellion – otherwise known as my daughter – has now learned to climb things. Specifically, things like end tables and dining room chairs and bookcases, where she’ll perch from on high and grin down at us, oblivious to the shrieks of panic from Mommy. The first time I saw her standing on the end table, reaching for the blazingly hot light bulb screwed into the lamp, I gave a deafening yell that would have stopped most men and butches dead in their tracks. As it was, my daughter turned around and gave me this “WTF?” look before glancing over at Strutt like I was some kind of madwoman. She promptly threw a temper tantrum when Strutt lifted her down and told her ‘no,’ then proceeded to put us through the same exact routine about 42,597 times before bath time. And martial arts classes for kids don’t start until age 3? I am SO screwed.

Yuck, I'm Sick

Well, I seem to have inherited the cold Strutt and Katie have been fighting all week. Blech. It doubly sucks because I never get sick ... I usually have the immune system from hell. It's not bad, just some sniffles and a slight sore throat ... but I still used it as an excuse to call in sick so I could have a three-day weekend :) Do you know if you tighten your throat muscles and breathe through your nose while you're talking, you can make yourself sound a whole lot sicker than you actually are ... LOL.

But, I did a minor freakout last night and indulged in a small chocolate-fest. Four squares of Hershey's Extra Dark chocolate and a bowl of Edy's Light Chocolate Ripple ice cream. I made up for it by doing 40 minutes of weights followed by 45 minutes of high-intensity cardio this morning. I was red-faced and dripping and my legs felt like they were about to give out under me, plus I felt like puking, so I guess my penance was appropriate :)

Honestly, I usually don't subscribe to the "pay for your fun" approach, though. If you have a minor freakout, or a major one for that matter, acknowledge it and move on without "punishing" yourself for it. In an odd way, I did this because I was getting sick: one, because exercise makes me feel better and I'm hoping to head off anything more serious at the pass; and two, my immune system didn't need to be focusing on all those extra carbs in my body in addition to the germies.

And I do feel like I'm in pretty decent shape right now. In most cases, however, I would have just done my regular workout and focused back on eating cleanly. Mistakes happen and you shouldn't go crazy over them ... thinking that you're a failure and giving up totally because you've slipped is the worst thing you can do. You're human and it is completely normal to fall short of perfection once in a while.

It's a beautiful 79 degrees here in west-central Florida today and I think I'm going to take a stroll in the backyard next to the water garden. For medicinal purposes, you know *wink*

The Most Beautiful Baby in the World :)

Here is a picture of my angel. Not that I'm partial or anything, but I suspect she's the most beautiful baby in the world :) Plus, she has my eyes *wink*

Exercise for Children

I’ve gotten a few questions from people wondering about our intentions with Katie by purchasing the free weights for her. Not anything rude or challenging, but a genuine curiosity on how soon I truly plan to start her on some kind of exercise routine. I found that interesting and want to address that here, since I have a lot of thoughts on the subject of children and exercise.

Actually, we’ve already started introducing Katie to exercise in some respects. I started exercising again when she was six months old, although I really didn’t make a fanatical commitment until she was about 10 months old. I get up at 4:30 to fit it in before I start work at 7:00, so she really only sees me work out on Saturday (Sunday is my rest day, although right now I am contemplating doing some yoga on that day for relaxation and to help improve my flexibility). But in general, I’m usually long gone by the time she and Strutt get out of bed. Strutt, however, works out every morning after s/he’s given Katie her breakfast, so Katie is completely used to seeing weights and cardio and stretching going on. It’s a normal part of her morning routine.

She tries to imitate us all the time and she just loves the Turbo Jam music. When I start the DVD and the music comes on, all I have to do is say, “Katie, where’s Chalene?” She runs to the TV and starts bobbing up and down, shaking her little booty, until you could just eat her up. To her, exercise is just something her parents do every morning as a routine part of their life, just like brushing their teeth or taking a shower. And I love that because she’ll think it’s supposed to be a normal and habitual part of her life, too. She already does because of how she imitates us and tries to get in on the act – which, frankly, can be challenging for us at times to make sure she’s safe and doesn’t get hurt if we are working with weights or kickboxing or anything like that. But we’ve managed and I personally don’t find that a bad problem to have.

Strutt and I have had many conversations on how different life was when we were kids (I’m 42, s/he’s 41). We never stayed inside the house – weather permitting, we were always outside riding bikes or playing tag, hide-and-seek, kickball, dodgeball, etc. It wasn’t even a question of our mothers making us go outside, because they had to twist our arms to get us to come back in. You went out and played after supper and, when the streetlights came on, it was time to go in the house - tired, happy, and usually filthy. You got thrown in the tub, scrubbed from head to toe, bundled into clean pajamas, given a snack, and then sent off to bed where you slept a solid, deep, dreamless sleep, tuckered out from all that fresh air and exercise. Strutt has never had a weight problem in hir life and I never did until I was an adult and started coping with PCOS, largely in part, I think, because we were very active children and burned thousands of calories on a regular basis.

Today, kids are in the house, wired to television, computer and video games. They don’t play outside anymore. Oh, it’s too dangerous these days, I hear a lot of mothers say. Well, fine. Get your ass off the couch and go outside with them. Read a book on the front porch if you don’t want to participate. What about the back yard? What about enrolling them in a martial arts program? I'm told they have martial arts programs for kids as young as three or four years old, and you can bet Katie will be in one as soon as she is old enough. As a matter of fact, Mommy is already researching the different types of martial arts training available and is seriously considering enrolling in a beginner’s class this summer :) I’ll be damned if my baby is going to kick my ass in a couple of years … LOL.

Childhood obesity has doubled since 1976 because of the lack of exercise kids get today, coupled with the high amount of sugar, white flour, preservatives, derivatives, and substitutes in their diets. I have to wonder, how many kids are “diagnosed” with ADD or ADHD and prescribed drugs like Ridilin when a simple change in diet and some regular exercise might solve the “problem” for some of them? How many are put on these drugs just for being kids who act out because they don’t have an outlet for all their boundless energy? I’m probably going to piss off a lot of people by saying this, but I even believe some of these children are medicated so their parents don’t have to take the blame for the way they are raising them – by letting television and video games and material things be a substitute for exercise and family time and parental attention.

Anyhow, to answer the original question - our intentions for Katie are that she grows up to be a healthy, happy little girl who loves exercise and playtime, and regards them as something ordinary and routine in her life. We’ll enroll her in a martial arts program when she’s old enough, involve her in playgroups where the focus is on fun and physical activity, continue to set an example for her by working out every day, and teach her sound basics and form when she starts to emulate us more seriously. I think our approach will come back to reward us a million times over.

Incidentally, Strutt is already impatiently waiting for the day when she can buy the baby her first swing set or jungle gym … LOL. I foresee I’m going to have my hands full throwing them both into the tub at night :)

South Beach Diet Musings

I hope everyone had a nice Valentine's Day. I took the day off and spent it at home with my sick ones. They seem to be past the worst of their colds and on the mend, thank goodness. My poor little baby - she kept waking up and crying Sunday and Monday nights because she couldn't breathe through her snotty nose. So, I spent both nights cuddling her in a semi-upright position for most of the night so she could get some sleep (we co-sleep with her, incidentally). That means, however, that Mommy didn't get much rest and was exhausted, so I took a world-class two-hour nap yesterday afternoon and felt a little better. Katie also didn't wake up at all last night, but I still didn't sleep well myself since I was subconsciously listening to make sure she was breathing. Ah, the joys of motherhood :)

So ... last week I broke down and ordered the South Beach Diet book after months of resisting both the media hysteria and the urging of various friends. It was delivered on Monday evening and I took advantage of my vacation day to read it (I can speed-read about 650 words a minute, a useful talent to have). I am not a big fan of what I call "diets in a can" - you know, the "solution" diets like Atkins, Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, etc. that map everything out for you to the point they practically schedule when you go to the bathroom - and I considered South Beach to be one of them, but I have to say this was an enjoyable read.

There are a lot of sound principles behind Dr. Agatston's work and I especially liked how he writes just like a normal person. There isn't a lot of medical-ese to try to decipher, just simple, fairly straightforward information written in layperson's terms. Plus, he isn't one of those "perfect beings from on high" looking to educate those of us wallowing in the ignorance gutter - he's a self-admitted chocoholic, spent years battling his own paunch and made the same screw-ups the rest of us do with respect to diet and nutrition before he invented the South Beach Diet. And he's upfront and honest about it, which I loved - I came away with the sense that he not only talks the talk, but walks the walk, too. Overall, I was surprisingly impressed with both the information and the good doctor.

But ... you knew there had to be a but, didn't you? *wink*

I still can’t get over the insistence of many diet gurus that calories don’t count. On this plan, as with many others, you don’t need to count calories, fat grams, carb grams, protein grams, etc. You eat anytime you’re hungry, in normal-sized portions, about five to six times a day or more. You don’t need to weigh or measure your food, or to count calories – if you follow the program and only stick to those foods that are on the approved list, you’ll lose weight. And, with the South Beach Diet’s Phase I, which is the strictest phase of the program and lasts for about two weeks, you’ll lose anywhere from 8 to 13 pounds.

Now, usually when I see someone has had an 8 to 13 pound weight loss in two weeks, alarm bells go off in my head and I think one of two things: they’ve either lost some Lean Body Mass or they are dehydrated. I just don’t believe you can safely lose more than 2 lbs. of body fat a week, based on what I’ve read over the past six months. Plus, no matter what anyone says, the laws of calorie consumption, calorie deficit and calorie surplus are the same no matter what diet you’re following. It takes a calorie deficit of 3,500 calories to lose a pound, period. Your body doesn’t stop functioning this way just because you go on Weight Watchers or Atkins or the South Beach diet. That’s one of the reasons I track every calorie I put in my mouth – I want to make sure I’m eating within my healthy range of calorie consumption so I can not only lose weight, but also make sure I don’t lose Lean Body Mass in the process. I just don’t trust this “don’t count calories because your body will self-regulate” voodoo.

I’m thinking in the name of science, I’m going to conduct an experiment. I’m going to follow Phase I of the South Beach Diet plan to the letter, beginning Monday, February 20. But I am going to monitor my body fat % religiously and record every thing I eat so that I can track the actual calories I am consuming and make sure I am not losing Lean Body Mass. I will evaluate my results on Sunday, March 5 – assuming I haven’t abandoned the experiment earlier, which I will do in a heartbeat if I start losing LBM. And here’s an interesting bonus. Supposedly, this nutrition plan lowers high blood pressure, cholesterol, triglycerides, etc. just like many of the low carb diets do (the South Beach diet is NOT low carb, by the way – carbs are only severely restricted within the first two weeks, but are added back in subsequent phases). I went to see my doctor for a progress evaluation yesterday and my blood pressure is remaining stubbornly high – no change, even with the new meds. He doubled the dose and I go back on March 7 for another progress evaluation. It will be interesting to see if my blood pressure is coincidentally any lower at that time, especially since it will be the first time in 14 months I will have had any kind of positive response.

Well, lookee here … I wrote another novel. Damn, I’m long-winded, aren’t I? But this should be an intriguing experiment, don't you think?

My Daughter, the Future Miss Fitness America :)

We bought our daughter her first set of weights on Saturday :)

Okay, so she's only 14 months old. But lately the child has been seizing my 5 lb. weights on a regular basis when I'm working out and stubbornly trying to swing them over her head, giving me a stroke in the process. She has also been imitating her parents by doing bicep curls and lateral raises with her toys. I'm telling you, she's too much. I keep telling everyone I have no idea where she gets this stubborn streak *blinking innocently*

So, we are at Sports Authority on Saturday, buying a pair of 15 lb. dumbbells for Strutt, plus some other assorted gear, and I spot them. They're tiny, only about 5 inches long. The grip is slim, maybe only an inch around in diameter. They weight 1 lb. apiece, lighter than half of Katie's toys. And they're HOT PINK. I told Strutt we had to buy them. Of course, now s/he thinks I'm a lunatic - or at least a bigger one that s/he originally suspected - but the baby looks so cool :) We took them for a test drive with her last night. All was well until she started chucking them at the cats ... whoops. Guess we'll wait until it's official workout time before we let her have them again - and yes, for the record, she will be as well-supervised with these as she is with the rest of her toys.

Saturday was my "cheat" (or "free") day (I switched my cheat day from Sunday to Saturday since my exercise rest day is Sunday and I don't want to not exercise on the same day I relax my eating habits) - I had smoked pork BBQ with French fries, Hershey's Extra Dark chocolate and Edy's Light Chocolate Chunk ice cream. Oh, the heavenly hosts were singing up a storm :) But, although I pretty much let myself eat anything I want on my cheat day, I do have a couple of rules. One, I won't let my total calories consumed go above my maintenance level. I don't want to freak out and start eating like a hell cow with PMS, because that will only rob the calorie deficit I worked so hard all week to create. And two, I try to keep as much to the 45/30/25 split of carbs/protein/fat as I can - no 60% fat days for me, although I'm not anal about it :) Other than that, I'm good to go and it works just fine. As of Saturday a.m., I am down a total of 33 lbs. ... yippee!!!

Strutt was supposed to make me hir legendary fried chicken for my cheat day, but s/he and the baby came down with colds, unfortunately. Normally, we are an extremely healthy family and never get sick, but it's been a whacky winter cold and flu season down here. I seem to have dodged the bullet so far and I hope it stays that way!

They Came! They Came!

I have to get the rest of this strategy written today or corporate America as we know it will cease to exist *eyeroll*. But I had to post quickly to say my new Turbo Jam workout DVDs came yesterday! I watched them both last night and did the Booty Sculpt + Abs this morning. It was similar to Lower Body Jam, but with more focus on your booty with an ending segment exclusively on abs. If you pay attention to your intensity and don’t slack, you’ll get a good workout. I liked it a lot.

Let’s talk about the new cardio workout, Cardio Party Remix, for a minute. The best way to describe it is as a mixture of Cardio Party, Cardio Party Mix 2, and 20-Minute Workout distilled into an extremely intense 30-minute session. I’ve decided to hold off on this one for a while longer. After watching it last night, I determined the 15 minutes I would save from doing a 30-minute workout instead of a 45-minute workout would be spent scraping both my lungs up off the living room rug. I’m just not there yet and I’m still learning the moves on Cardio Party Mix 2 anyway. I’ll plan to try in a month or so and let you know how many internal organs I displaced then :)

Food of Love

I mentioned I cook, right?

I am what is known as a serious cook. My mother is 100% Italian and I've been cooking with her and the rest of my female relatives for as long as I can remember. I've owned my own catering company. I worked with my mother in hers when I was a teenager. I do (or did - I'm taking a hiatus) home kitchen testing for national food publication. You know those pictures you see of a perfectly grilled salmon fillet perched atop a pile of artfully dressed mesclun salad and tiny potato sculptures, balanced and decorated within an inch of its life with tiny dots of sauce swirled around snippets of fresh dill and faultless half-moons of lemon? I can do that. And serve it to you with panache and perfection right at my dining room table. Well, at least until one of the damned cats decides to get a wild hair up her ass, dash across the table and swipe the salmon, leaving behind a broken tower of really expensive potato salad. Which is why the little wenches are usually locked, howling, in the master bedroom when we have company.

Anyhow, I've had to change my whole approach to cooking as well as eating. Convenience foods have not historically ever made an appearance in my house. I cook from scratch and so does Strutt (who is an awesome Southern cook - hir fried chicken makes the heavens open and the angels sing). We don't often use substitutes and replacements and fake foods - and, to be honest, we weren't real crazy about starting now. Strutt doesn't have a weight problem in the first place, unless you count the maybe 5 lbs. s/he thinks s/he needs to lose. S/he's never had a weight problem (for which s/he is routinely banished by me to the ninth level of Dante's hell :) ). Katie certainly doesn't need to be eating synthetics - and frankly, I think if it's not good enough for my daughter, then why should it be good enough for me or Strutt?

But I had a lot of work to do to revamp mealtime into something we could all enjoy without sabotaging myself or shortchanging Strutt and Katie. A lot of what we cooked was healthy in that it used fresh meats, fruits, vegetables - but things like butter, cheese, and eggs were a problem. I wanted to stick to whole grains as much as possible and cut out refined flour and white sugar. Strutt and I both started to look at it as a huge challenge and have really been getting into it recently. We've come up with some amazing stuff. Sundays are still my free day, when I can enjoy the old favorites, but we're doing good on the restricted days as well. I'm going to publish a recipe now and then, like this one for a killer veggie pizza:

Fresh Veggie Pizza
Makes 4-6 servings

1 can (15-ounces) tomato puree
3 medium cloves garlic, finely minced, divided
1/4 teaspoon dried basil
1/4 teaspoon dried oregano
1-1/4 teaspoon salt, divided
1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
2 cups whole wheat flour
1 package (2-1/4 teaspoons) active dry yeast
3/4 teaspoon salt
1 cup warm water
1 tablespoon plus 2 teaspoons olive oil, divided
1 teaspoon honey
1/4 of a red onion, thinly sliced
1/2 cup red pepper, diced medium
1/2 cup fresh mushrooms, sliced
1/2 cup fresh baby spinach, thinly sliced
1/3 cup black olives (optional)
2/3 cup shredded low-fat mozzarella cheese
5 fresh basil leaves, cut into chiffonade

Make the sauce: combine the tomato puree, 1 clove of minced garlic, dried basil, dried oregano, 1/2 teaspoon salt, and the black pepper in a small saucepan over medium heat. When mixture begins to bubble, reduce heat to low and simmer for 30 minutes. Set aside to cool.

Make the crust: In a large mixing bowl, whisk together the whole wheat flour, yeast, and remaining 3/4 teaspoon salt. Add the water, 1 tablespoon olive oil, and the honey; mix well and knead briefly just until dough comes together in a smooth ball. Cover with a warm, damp towel and place in a warm spot for 20 minutes to rise.

Preheat the oven to 425 degrees Fahrenheit and move the oven rack to the low-middle position. For best results, place a baking stone on the oven rack and allow it to heat thoroughly.

While dough is rising, put 1 teaspoon of the olive oil in a large skillet over medium-high heat until shimmering. Swirl the skillet to coat the bottom with the heated oil. Sauté the onion, red pepper, mushrooms, spinach, and remaining 2 cloves of minced garlic until the vegetables are crisp-tender and the spinach is wilted, about 2-3 minutes, stirring frequently and watching to make sure the garlic does not burn. Remove from heat and set aside to cool slightly.

Punch dough down and press evenly into a greased 14-inch pizza pan. Brush the dough round with the remaining 1 teaspoon olive oil. Spread half the sauce on the pizza dough round to within 1/2" of the edge (the remaining sauce can be frozen for future use). Spread the vegetable mixture evenly over the sauce, scatter the black olives on top (if using), then sprinkle with the mozzarella cheese.

Bake the pizza on top of the pizza stone at 425 degrees Fahrenheit for 15 to 20 minutes or until crust is golden brown and cheese is melted. Sprinkle with fresh basil; let stand for 5 minutes, then cut into wedges and serve.

Excuse Me While I Pause for a Moment for Station Identification

After re-reading some of the stuff I've put in my blog so far, I can see where it might be a bit overwhelming. It's a lot of information to digest. And I can also see where someone might say, "The hell with it, I don't have time" or "It's just too much effort. Let the bossy Italian woman make herself crazy on her own."

I just want to say one thing, though. There are a lot of weight loss commercials and advertisements and infomercials out there today for this pill, that gadget, this quick program that promise a lot of dazzling results with little effort. You know why? Fast and easy sells in this country. But fast and easy doesn't work. The percentage of clinically obese adults in this country has increased 75% since 1991. 75%!!! 1 out of every 3 adults in this country is obese. That terrifies me. Where will we be in the next 15 years? Will 2 out of every 3 adults in this country be obese by then? I'm thinking if we continue on the way we're going, that's exactly where we'll be.

There is no such thing as a magic pill. There is no such thing as a gadget that will sweat, pound, melt or laser-beam the fat off your body while you sleep/eat/call football plays from your armchair. There is no such thing as a program that can deliver effective results in 20 minutes a day, three times a week. NO SUCH THING. The advertising agencies and the corporations selling these products would like you to believe that, of course. But we have a lot of years of history that prove the exact opposite.

Getting fit takes effort and a commitment. We're all busy, I know that. I work full-time and I have a 14-month-old baby at home who wants my undivided attention the minute I walk in the door. Some days, I don't feel like I have room to breathe. But I make the time to exercise and I refuse to let my mind sabotage my efforts. No matter what it takes, those 60 minutes in the morning are mine and I do whatever it takes to make sure they are a priority. If it means I watch an hour less of TV one night, then I watch an hour less of TV. If it means I only check my e-mail a few times a week instead of every night, then I check my e-mail a few times a week. If it means Strutt and Katie have to do without me for 30 minutes on Saturday morning while I finish my workout, then guess what? They wait.

Like most things in life, you'll get out of it what you put into it. You'll never wish yourself thin nor will you find a magic wand that will make the fat disappear with a single wave. You won't have six-pack abs and muscle striations by hopping around half-heartedly for 60 or 90 minutes a week. But if you do make the commitment and put the time and effort into yourself, your body will reward you a thousandfold.

"There are a thousand reasons for failure, but not a single excuse." - Mike Reid, former All-Pro center for the Cincinnati Bengals and concert pianist.

Play That Funky Music, White Girl

You hear the Fitness Gods and Goddesses say it time and time again. If you don’t like exercise, you won’t do it. Ain’t that the truth. I used to force myself to do it every day. And there is no way in hell I would have gotten up at 4:30 a.m. back then to suffer through five days a week, 40 minutes a day of sheer, repetitive, boring torture. I would have rather stuck forks in my eyes. I did it when I got home from work – grudgingly and exceedingly resentful of how it cut into my personal time with my partner and our daughter. If I hadn’t been so determined to get into really good shape for Katie’s sake, I would have said, “Fuck this” about two weeks into it and gone back to Curves.

But in early November, I found a workout that’s so much fun, with such hot dance music, that I still love every single thing about it three months later. You may have seen the infomercials – the name of the program is Turbo Jam. Kids, this program rocks the house. It combines strength training and cardio with such powerful, soul-rocking dance music, your body moves whether you want it to move or not. I do two Turbo Jam workouts every day, back to back, six days a week, for a total of 60-65 minutes a day. The music is completely motivating and the best I’ve ever heard in any exercise program. When I’m working out, I am so pumped and I hit those beats so hard, every muscle in my body works to the max. At 4:30 in the morning! And those 60 minutes just fly by. I am a red-faced, sweaty, dripping mess by the time I am done – and I feel so damned good, I almost wish I could start over again.

Part of what makes it so fun is Chalene Johnson, the program creator and the instructor on the tapes. She is an absolute hoot, a total goof and a 5’2” ball of fire. She’s not one of those “woo-woo” instructors either – you know, the ones you see on TV who do little but jump up and down in their cute, color-coordinated outfits and yell, “Woo! Woo!” every ten seconds, until you are ready to bitch-slap them into unconsciousness. Motivating, my ass – the only motivation I get is a compelling urge to find some duct tape. But Chalene is so different and she has a reputation for genuinely caring about the people who use her program.

There are several workouts in the Turbo Jam program. When you buy the basic package, you get:

Learn and Burn – teaches you the 11 program positions and has a 15-minutes starter workout.
Turbo Sculpt – a 40-minute strength training program.
20-Minute Workout – a quick workout for “short on time” days
AB Jam – a 20-minute ab routine
Cardio Party – a 45-minute cardio workout

I also have two other DVDs I have from the upgrade package I purchased separately: Cardio Party Mix 2 (which is killer and hands-down my favorite), and Lower Body Jam, which is a 30-minute strength training workout just for your lower body. The first time I did Lower Body Jam, I thought my glutes and hamstrings were going to split in half, it was that intense. But very, very effective – the whole program is. I have definition in my biceps and glutes and even my abs that I have never had before.

I’ve managed to get my hands on two other DVDs that actually haven’t been released yet and am waiting for them to be delivered any day now ***evil grin***. One is called Booty Sculpt + Abs and the other is Cardio Party Remix. And I cannot wait to try them out.

The recommended program is five days; however, I do six days of double workouts. My schedule lately looks something like this:

Monday-Wednesday-Friday: Either Turbo Sculpt OR Lower Body Jam + 20-Minute Workout
Tuesday-Thursday-Saturday: Either Cardio Party OR Cardio Party Mix 2 + Ab Jam
Sunday: Rest and eat chocolate :)

Once I get the other two, I’ll work them into the mix somehow. It’s effective if you mix up your routine every 4-6 weeks, anyway, so your body doesn’t get used to a set pattern. For example, I had been doing Cardio Party exclusively for about 2-1/2 months and was getting great results; however, when I started incorporating Cardio Party Mix 2, I really felt my muscles respond to the change in routine.

I really love this program and encourage you to check it out, especially if you’re like me and generally dislike exercising. For the record, I am not affiliated with Beachbody in any way – as a matter of fact, I had such a run-in with their Customer Service department last summer, they probably have voodoo dolls with my name on them that they stick pins in every 30 minutes or so. That doesn’t prevent me from recommending a great product, however – Chalene has put together an amazing and very effective workout program, and it’s not her fault the people in Beachbody’s Customer Service department suffer from occasional brain seizures.

Check them out – I don't think you'll be sorry.

Scale Weight – Why You Should Throw Your Scale Out the Window

I know – I’m a loon. How in the world are you going to measure your progress if you don’t have a scale? I’m so glad you asked :)

Judging your weight loss progress solely by scale weight is a bad idea. Scale weight is evil. The scale will tell you how much, in total, all your bits and parts and pieces weigh. It does not, however, have a clue about how much of that is muscle, how much is fat, how much is tissue, etc. (which is known as your “body composition”). And that’s bad. You can be 5’4” and weigh 125 lbs. by the scale, leading you to assume you are a perfectly normal, “within range” human being. But if 30% of your weight is actually body fat, then you are nowhere near being in the great shape you think you are. Renowned natural bodybuilder Tom Venuto even calls people like this “skinny fat people” – because they look thin, but are carrying far too much fat on their frame to be healthy.

The absolute best way to measure your progress is to determine your body fat % relative to your overall scale weight. Finding your exact body fat % can be done at a reputable gym or at home by performing a “skinfold” test using an instrument called an Accu-Measure caliper. I am completely intimidated at the thought of going to a gym and having some freakishly perfect Personal-Trainer-from-Hell pinch my fat rolls, so I bought a caliper at NutraPlanet for about $10-$12. It takes a bit of practice, but it’s easily mastered and you will be pinching skinfolds and measuring them like a pro in no time.

So, what is a skinfold test? Basically, you are “pinching” an inch of your skin and using the caliper to measure (usually in millimeters) the layer of subcutaneous fat that exists under the skin. Voilà – that measurement will tell you your body fat %. From there, it’s very easy to determine how many pounds you have that are fat pounds and how many are Lean Body Mass. The calculation looks like this:

If:
Your body fat % is 18% (.18)
Your body weight is 194 lbs.

Multiply your body fat % by your total body weight to determine your total lbs. of fat:
.18 x 194 = 34.9 lbs. of fat

Subtract total lbs. of fat from total weight to determine your Lean Body Mass:
194 – 34.9 lbs. fat = 159.1 lbs. of LBM

So, in this example, if you weigh 194 lbs. and your body fat % is 18%, 34.9 lbs. of your scale weight is fat and 159.1 lbs. is LBM.

What should your body fat % be? In a lot of ways, this is very individual. According to most charts I’ve seen, optimal % of body fat for a non-athlete is around 10%-14% for a man and 16%-20% for a woman. Athletes can average 3% to 6% lower. Fitness models and bodybuilders routinely get down into the single digits for competition, although I understand they usually only stay there for short periods of time. If you are a woman, I personally wouldn’t go below 12%-15% at the very least – which is a lot easier said than done anyway.

So, let’s say your body fat % is 18% and you want to drop it down to 12%. How many total lbs. of fat do you need to lose? You can calculate that like this:

If:
Your Currennt Weight: 194 lbs.
LBM: 159.1 lbs.
Desired Body Fat %: 12% (.12)

Determine your % of LBM at your desired body fat % by subtracting your desired body fat % from 1:
1 - .12 = .88

Divide your current LBM by your % of LBM at your desired body fat % to yield your ideal weight:
159.1 / .88 = 181 lbs. ideal weight

Subtract your current weight by your ideal weight:
194 – 181 = 13 lbs.

So, if 181 lbs. is your ideal body weight at 12% body fat, you need to lose 13 lbs. of body fat to hit your goal.

As you can see in the above example, it’s not that you can’t use the scale to monitor your progress. Throwing it through the bathroom window would be a little drastic (although one hell of a statement to the neighbors :) ). But you should always check your body fat % with a caliper as well to make sure what you are losing is fat and not LBM. If you do and you find you are losing LBM along with fat lbs., you can then make adjustments to your nutrition and exercise plan to correct it.

Exercise. Oh, yeah. We haven’t talked about that yet, have we? Well, except for me letting you know I wake up in the middle of the night to work out, like some kind of a lunatic. Trust me, I can get worse :)

A Typical Food Day in the LIfe

Not only do I try to keep my calorie intake between 1,850 and 1,900 calories a day, I also try to balance the ratios of carbs/protein/fat of my total food intake as close as I can to 45/30/25 (that's 45% carbs, 30% protein, and 25% fat). Fit Day has a kick-ass diet and weight loss journal that’s totally free and I use it religiously every day to track my food consumption and percentages.

Here is what a typical day of eating looks like for me (this was yesterday’s food record):

6:00 a.m.
1/2 cup oatmeal
1 cup 1% milk (I cannot freaking stand skim milk and will puke at the sight – 1% is as low as I’ll go)
1 small banana
1 ZOIC protein drink

8:30 a.m.
4 oz. Egg Beaters
1 cup coffee with 1% milk

11:30 a.m.
1 cup lettuce salad with assorted vegetables
2 tablespoons fat-free salad dressing
Healthy Choice Grilled Mandarin Chicken

2:30 p.m.
2 slices whole wheat bread spread with …
… 2 tablespoons natural peanut butter mixed with 1 tablespoon toasted wheat germ and 2 teaspoons honey

5:00 p.m.
5 oz. broiled fish
Baked potato (plain with only fat-free butter spray)
1 cup steamed broccoli
1 cup lettuce salad with assorted vegetables
2 tablespoons fat-free salad dressing

7:00 p.m.
1 mini-bag fat-free popcorn

TOTAL CALORIES: 1,875
Total ratios (carbs/protein/fat): 47/34/19

This also wasn’t one of the days where the Hershey’s Extra Dark Chocolate squares showed up, which they have a distressing tendency to do right around that time of the month *wink*

Notice two things. One, I eat every 2-3 hours, six times a day. You have to learn to do that. When you get too hungry, your body thinks "Starvation!" and we are trying to avoid that, remember? Also, when you get too hungry, it's a lot easier to start grabbing junk and cramming it into your yap. Been there, done that, about a million times. Second, I don't eat any later than 7:00 p.m., or at least 2-3 hours before I go to bed. While you're sleeping, if your belly is full, your body is going to expend energy digesting the food you ate before you went to sleep. If your belly is empty, it's going to expend energy burning stored fat. 'Nuff said.

One other thing. I’m not a big proponent of frozen dinners or prepared foods. I am a very serious cook and believe 100% in “real” food (more on that in a future post). But I’m a busy woman – throwing a frozen dinner and a handful of already-prepared salad mix into my lunch bag is a hell of a lot faster and more convenient than chopping veggies and weighing turkey breast in the morning. The most important thing is to stick to your food plan, so do what you need to do to make it work for you. And if that means eating a Weight Watchers or a Healthy Choice frozen dinner instead of something you prepared from scratch, then go for it.

Time for lunch :)

How to Calculate a Kick Ass Weight Loss Plan

Since I’m yelling about getting off the low calorie bandwagon, I should at least show you a better method, right? :)

The best way to lose weight safely and sanely is to first find your Total Daily Energy Expenditure (TDEE). Your TDEE is the number of calories your body uses in a 24-hour period and includes both the calories you burn at rest and when you are physically exerting yourself. Some people also call it your “maintenance level” – the amount of calories you need to consume each day just to maintain your current weight.

Here is a great site for determining your TDEE (scroll down until you see “Harris-Benedict Calculation” and use that – it’s more precise). Once you have determined that, you can move on and find out what your daily calorie intake should be for safe weight loss.

The absolute best rule of thumb is to never (NEVER, EVER, EVER) cut your calories by more than 20%-30% of your total TDEE unless you are going to have a cheat day once a week (remember those?). I personally cut my TDEE by 35% - my TDEE is 2,893 calories, so I shoot for between 1,850 and 1,900 calories six days per week. Sunday is my “cheat” day, when I allow myself to eat whatever I want, up to my TDEE of 2,900 calories. Doesn’t that undo all my hard work throughout the week? Absolutely not. It takes a 3,500 calorie deficit to lose a pound, so I am creating a calorie deficit of about 6,100 calories a week by eating 35% fewer calories than it takes me to maintain my current weight six days a week. On the 7th day, I am only eating up to my maintenance level, so I’m not creating a calorie surplus. Net-net, I am losing about 1.75 lbs. per week of pure fat.

Why does that work and why am I not losing Lean Body Mass? Because my body doesn’t think it’s starving and has no reason to turn on itself and eat vital tissues. Your body will always burn stored fat first if it’s not panicking and thinking there isn't enough food. Sure, it’s getting less food six days a week, but not so much less that it has to kick into starvation mode. Besides, that 7th day of eating whatever I want up to my maintenance level makes my body think, “Oh well, gee, I can’t be starving. That was pizza!!!” So, it’s content to keep on burning fat for fuel and I’m thrilled knowing the numbers on the scale (and the reading on my caliper to measure body fat %) are reflecting how much pure fat I’ve lost, not how much weight (including my precious muscle and body organs) I’ve lost.

You know, I’m supposed to be writing strategy today, but I am totally blowing it off. This is lots more fun :)

Get Off The Low Calorie Bandwagon

So, I said I was going to talk a little bit about what I’m doing before I got sidetracked dispensing my oh-so-sensible pearls of wisdom :) Before this latest journey, I was educated in the low-calorie, low-fat, exercise-30-minutes-a-day-three-times-a-week school of thought. When I wanted to “diet” (there’s that word again), I dropped my calorie intake to between 1,200 and 1,500 a day and tootled off to Curves three days a week (yeah, I know, I know). And yes, I lost weight. But I lost the wrong kind of weight. I lost a lot of Lean Body Mass instead of just fat.

Look, it’s very simple. When you starve your body like that - eating way less calories than your body truly needs - it’s going to turn on itself and “eat” anything it can find to survive. That includes your Lean Body Mass (LBM) – that vital network of your body's organs, muscles and "active" connective tissue. Since your muscles are what burns fat, you are in a world of shit if that starts to happen. And when you don’t exercise enough to build more muscle tissue – like when you only exercise 90 minutes in a week that holds 10,080 minutes - your muscles actually start disappearing. Then, when you regain the weight - like we always do 95% of the time, right? – you actually get fatter because now you don’t have as much muscle and can’t burn as many calories as you could before your “diet.” Your metabolism is shot to hell and it actually looks like your muscles have turned to fat – which they haven’t, that’s not possible, but it sure as hell looks like they did.

If you are on the low-calorie bandwagon, get off it right now. You can lose weight safely and sanely without fucking up your metabolism, your body composition, your motor skills, your brain power, and a million more things I could mention. No, you won’t lose 5 lbs. in a week anymore, but you will lose 1-2 lbs. of pure fat as opposed to 3 lbs. of fat and 2 lbs. of Lean Body Mass. You need to ask yourself if it’s worth it to you to see the “numbers” on the scale go down, knowing your LBM is almost half of what’s disappearing.

Have I mentioned yet that I'm bossy? Okay, I admit it - I'm bossy. I'm Italian, I can't help it. But it's for your own good, I promise *wink*

Next post: I’ll tell you how to do it :)

Aren't I Smart?

I want to post more about how I started, the progress I've made so far, where I am today and where I plan to go as I move forward. But, over the past three months, I’ve made some interesting discoveries along the way that have helped me to be successful this far and I’d like to share them right now. Maybe they will help someone else:

Have a “cheat” day once a week. If you are on a structured, limited-calorie nutrition plan where you eat really clean six days out of the week like I am, bump up your daily calorie consumption with a more indulgent day once a week. Treat yourself - my last “cheat” day included my (100% Italian) mother’s spaghetti, a glass of red wine, and a frightening wedge of blueberry cheesecake. The good news: it will keep your body from going into starvation mode and you can avoid those dreaded weight loss plateaus. But don't, for God's sake, weigh yourself the next day. You have to consume 3,500 calories more than your daily maintenance level to gain a pound and it would take some serious pig-in-a-trough behavior for you to do that. But the scale can still register higher because of the water retention, etc. that usually follows after a feeding frenzy like this. Do yourself a favor and save yourself some grief - don't weigh yourself until at least three days have passed.

Holidays don’t have to be an emotional minefield. I sat down and thought about how I wanted to get through the past holiday season without going binge-crazy. This is what I decided: I was going to make a plan, stick to it, and allow myself indulgences without guilt. I made Thanksgiving day, Christmas day and New Year’s day my “cheat” days and I ate whatever I wanted during each holiday meal. I had fairly sensible portions, but I ate some of everything, including dessert, and then I walked away and stuck to healthy foods as much as possible the rest of the day. That way, I didn’t feel hungry, I didn’t feel deprived - and I didn’t waste a ton of emotional energy by first feeling guilty that I cheated, and then trying to justify why I cheated. Who needs that kind of negative emotional burden during the holidays? The rest of the time, I was 100% clean, scheduling my other “cheat” days to coincide with parties, etc., AND I NEVER SKIPPED A WORKOUT. It worked like a freaking charm. I had a great time from Thanksgiving to New Year’s and I still lost weight.

Exercise is mental, not physical. I’ve always thought about exercise as being something physical, but I’ve come to realize that’s not true. God (or whatever Creator you believe in) created our bodies to be in constant motion and they are – even when we’re sleeping, our bodies are busy breathing, circulating blood, making new hair, bones, tissue, muscles, etc. They are never not working or exerting themselves in some way, so physical effort is something completely natural. So, I believe exercise is really for our minds, because they are constantly working to derail our bodies’ efforts to do what comes naturally to them anyway. That’s why thinking positively is so powerful. If we exercise our minds and keep them in good shape, then our bodies will naturally do what they were designed to do without a struggle.

Be creative and plan for the bad days. They are going to happen – it’s inevitable. And a bad day will kick you right in the patootie and derail your efforts faster than anything else. So, plan for them and they won’t take you by surprise. I always have a couple of "bad day plans” in my back pocket. For instance, one day I came home at lunch and was a huge grump about god-knows-what. I thought about fixing a salad or a turkey sandwich and my bad mood spilled over onto my nutrition plan – it wasn’t working, I wasn’t losing weight fast enough, fuck the whole thing, I was going to eat what I wanted. So, I made myself stop for a minute and I pulled out a bad day plan. I took two slices of whole wheat bread, a couple tablespoons of natural peanut butter and 100% fruit spread – and I made myself a PBJ, which is one of my favorite comfort foods in the whole wide world. I ate it with a glass of low-fat milk and was as happy as a pig in shit. I factored it into my calorie/fat/carb/protein allowances for the day, made some adjustments for my evening meal, stayed perfectly legal – and was so smug the rest of the day, I probably would have slapped myself if I had to deal with me. Planning on how you will deal with your bad days will save you a ton of grief and struggle.

Not bad, huh?

Let's Get the Introduction Stuff Out of the Way

So, first let me introduce myself. My name is Tiffany and I'm a 42-year-old femme who lives in the idyllic seaside village of Gulfport, FL with my beloved partner of eight years and our 14-month-old daughter. What, you ask, is a "femme"? Butch/femme is a small subculture of the gay community. As Wikipedia states: "Butch and femme are terms often used in the lesbian and gay subcultures to describe a person's approximate adherence to traditional masculine and feminine gender roles respectively, within a same-sex relationship, or to describe an individual generally."

It's as good a definition as any, I suppose, although somewhat limiting. And no, butches do not want to be men and femmes do not want to be with men - there is a lot more to the subculture than gender stereotyping. There is a dynamic there I could never, ever, ever explain in writing. In any case, I'm a femme, or a queer woman who exhibits primarily feminine traits. My partner is butch, a queer female who is more masculine in hir appearance and actions. By the way, "hir" is not a misspelling - we have our own personal pronouns within the community and I use some of the alternate spellings when I write about hir.

But this isn't a discourse on the B/F queer community, so enough of that for now. "Strutt" (my partner) and I have a 14-month-old daughter named Katherine Carolina (Katie), who was born on December 9, 2004, and is the light and love of our lives. It's actually Katie's fault I'm in this obsessive-fitness-freak-from-hell cycle. When I got pregnant with her, I was in decent shape - overweight, which I have been for a great deal of my adult life, but in really good health and following a fairly regular exercise program. Then came pregnancy and childbirth, which involved nasty words like pregnancy-related carpel tunnel syndrome, preeclamsia, pregnancy-induced hypertension, possible kidney failure, and premature birth. I was in the hospital for almost a month on complete bed rest before she was induced three weeks early, and ended up having a c-section after 18 hours of labor. Wanna know the chances of this kid getting the car keys any time before she's 18?

Anyhow, when I got home from the hospital, I was a wreck - absolutely physically destroyed. I became short of breath just walking to the bathroom. Then, post-partum depression set in ... for nine months. I won't go into the details, but you need to understand that if there was a Butch Medal of Honor, Strutt would have earned about six of them. I always thought I knew how much my partner loved me until I came out the other side and looked back at what I put hir through - with no words of recrimination or blame or anger from hir, ever. Trust me, s/he really loves me, probably far more than I deserve.

When I started to come out of the PPD and my head was a little bit clearer, I realized I had to do something. I had gained 80 lbs. from the pregnancy and all its complications - 80 pounds!!!. It took me a full five minutes to get up and down off the floor to play with my daughter. I was achy, creaking, and uncomfortable - I couldn't sleep well, eat well (oxymoronish though that may seem), or seem to enjoy anything. I still had high blood pressure. Sex? What the hell was that? Oh yeah, something people who are in shape do. It was ridiculous and I had had enough.

But there was something more, too. One day, when it took me another five minutes to get my fat, tired, sick and grumpy ass up off the floor, I vowed my beautiful girl would never know what it was like to have a mommy who was too old or too fat to play with her, or to join in group activities. She wasn't going to have a mommy who was angry and grumpy and cranky all the time. I was 41 when I had Katie - I am already behind the 8-ball in some respects and I need every advantage I can grab. So, that's why I'm here and that's why I started this journey in the first place. My baby girl was the catalyst that kicked this all into gear. So, I'm doing this for Katie, for Strutt, for all of us.

But mostly for me.

In the Beginning ...

I'm not exactly sure why I decided to do this, but ... do this I will. I've been hit with the fitness bug recently and wanted a place to jot down my findings, musings, accomplishments, failures, joys, sorrows, and general madness over my somewhat recent determination to get buff. Really buff. "I can't fucking believe you're 42" buff.

I'm already well on my way ... I don't look 42 in the first place, plus I've lost 31 lbs. so far. Which sounds like a lot, if you don't consider the fact I have about another 56 to go to hit my kind of randomly established goal weight. But I gotta tell you ... staring at a 50-lb. weight loss journey is a lot better than staring at a close to 100-lb. one. It doesn't seem so overwhelming and just plain hopeless.

People are noticing the change now, and that's nice. It makes me feel even better about myself and what I've accomplished. Truthfully, it's been a lot of fun and I look forward to working out almost every day. I actually work out six days a week, about 60 minutes a day. I get up at 4:30 a.m. five out of those six days, just so I can "git 'er done" before work - which shows how batshit crazy I am about this whole "get buff" thing.

Onwards and upwards.